Some months ago, when I was still a scientologist, despite being burned by them several times, I complained to Tilman Hausherr  for his suggestion that a quote concerning races (from The Fundamentals of Thought) was racist. At the time, my equation was Something Hubbard Wrote = True. Sometimes this equation was violated, but only sometimes. Tilman quoted my reply here, as some of you may remember, and it is only now that I have had the courage to look back on the post and replies. It was embarrassing to read my pathetic justifications for what Hubbard had said.

But anyway, I'm not writing just because I have a computer and an internet account. I'd like to bring up two things for discussion, one about the way scientologists will obscure their own feelings about things, if briefly at first, to defend and uphold Hubbard's views. The other is how we approach current scientologists.

Not too long after I posted that message, my father (a current scientologist) told me about some African music he'd listened to recently and how much he admired it.

He went on for a few minutes about how utterly wonderful and magical this music was (I think it was from a central African nation). Some part of me rebelled and didn't want to hear it, and that's when I realized that I was rebelling because Hubbard wouldn't have liked African music.

That realization was scary.

I mean, I had listened to [South] African music before and enjoyed it very much. Why was I not willing to accept that it could be good now? Certainly I wasn't becoming racist, even if in a small way, right?

That's when it came to me.

It was either my own thoughts and opinions or Hubbard's. Although I live at the moment in an area where there are few blacks, I have had many friends who were African-American and, as I am a student of Japanese, I have always had considerable interest in Eastern cultures.

But to believe in scientology means to believe that the Zulus (and all Africans) are savage, that the Japanese are insane because of their language (from a 1950 lecture), that the yogis are practicing mind-damaging techniques, etc., etc. I don't believe these things, and really thinking about these things, I suddenly found the range of things Hubbard said I disagreed with become huge.

Whereas before I had read his books and lecture transcripts as if they were gospel, suddenly they seemed dry, lifeless. I am ashamed for defending what Hubbard said now, especially as it implicates me as agreeing with the racist comments of a racist.

I had passed over those statements before, but now having them brought to my attention, they repulsed me. It was all so overwhelming I had to drop thinking about the subject for a month or two. When I was ready for the subject again, I started doing some research on the Net and was shocked at what I found.

You see what was happening? I had to defend what Hubbard said, and when Hubbard said something I didn't really agree with, I still had to defend it. It was insane. By defending whatever Hubbard quote that came my way meant I had to reshape my own mindset; and that turned me off and shook me so badly I had to just pull away from it for a couple months.

Anyway, my second point is, how do you approach scientologists who are defending their Demigod, like I had done? One person's approach to my comments was contempt. It may have been well deserved contempt, but I think that's the wrong approach, unless the only purpose of the reply is to express scorn and contempt.

And that won't get you in the good graces of the scienos out there who just need a little nudge to open their eyes. What's needed is cold compassion, an offer to supply some links (but not the links themselves; they must make the whole choice), and a good enough knowledge of Hubbard's writings so that you can approach them with the nomenclature they'll respond to. This last point is especially important because most scienos believe that critics don't know anything about the tech.

Now, people do these things from time to time. But they need to be done all the time. The cynical, sardonic attitude of some messages is just making things worse.

[off the soapbox]

Anthony