Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology,alt.religion.scientology.xenu,alt.religion.scientology.squick.squick.squick From: gerdw@cougar.vut.edu.au (David Gerard) Subject: New Weekly (Australia) 19 Aug 1996 on Travolta. snicker. bwaahahaha! Message-ID: Sender: news@matilda.vut.edu.au Organization: Prestige Elite(tm) Research Church of the SubGenius X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 PL2] Date: Tue, 13 Aug 1996 16:12:54 GMT Australian SPs, get on down to the newsagent NOW and get this week's New Weekly. I know it's a breathtakingly dain-bramaged piece of glossy celebritied trash, but you need the Aug 19, 1996 issue. The page you want is p18 and the headline is 'John's Secret Powers: "Travolta Cured Me"'. I won't type in the whole thing (can't be bothered, and it's still on the newsstands anyway), but here's the first four paragraphs and the gist of the rest: In John Travolta's latest movie, Phenomenon, the once disco-dancing star plays an ordinary man who is miraculously given supernatural powers. It sounds like fantasy - but in real life John believes he, too, has weird powers. Behind that famous smile, the 42-year-old gentle family man is an obsessive cult follower who claims he has cured fellow cast members with his "healing hands". John is convinced he owes his superstardom to Scientology, a mysterious religion that claims the world's problems are caused by the invisible remains of aliens blown up by a tyrant called Xenu Xenu millions of years ago. Among some of the more bizarre beliefs of Scientologists are that women should keep totally silent while giving birth, and that a machine invented by cult founder Lafayette Ron Hubbard can measure emotional pain. [Dig that: Xenu mentioned in the THIRD PARAGRAPH. Needless to say, I burst into loud and ambarrassing laughter in the newsagent and bought the magazine immediately :-) ] Then the article talks about touch assists ("his magic fingers."), Jett being allowed to do almost anything he likes (doesn't mention the source of Jett's name though), that "He has signed up to star in movies based on Hubbard's sci-fi books, Battleship Earth and Fear" -- I know Fear is actually a horror story, but whatever -- the plot of Phenomenon, how great Scn is, that Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman are members and that he doesn't do nude scenes. There's also a sidebar headed 'Scientology facts' which doesn't mention harassment and so on, but does mention vast sums of money and makes Scn sound weird, freaky and eminently avoidable ... The only mention of the Internet is that John sings their praises on the Church's Internet site (literally -- he did vocals on 'The Road To Freedom'!). New Weekly's readers are neither bright nor informed; their brains would probably melt down if they saw something starting 'http://' or some such gibberish. On the ARSCCically-Correct scale, allowing for Degree of Difficulty, I'd give this one an 8.5 out of 10. -- Reverend Doctor David Gerard, KoX, SP 4.04, kOh, RPG-to-be; fun@suburbia.net Prestige Elite(tm) Research Church of the SubGenius "Servicing the Prestige Elite(tm) since 1985!" July 5, 1998, 7 AM. Saucers. End of the world. Your US$30 is your trip ticket.