February 28, 1998
Subject: Atlanta Picket, February 28,1998
Date: Sun, 01 Mar 1998 19:39:41 -0600
I packed my signs, camera, and Sekrit Weepun into the back of my car and
took off for Atlanta to participate in my very first picket against the
"choich" of Scamitology. Actually, the only Scientology presence in
Georgia is a Dianetics Center on West Peachtree Street, so we settled
for that. When I say "we" i mean myself, Wynot, Laudunum [sic? if so,
please forgive me], Jeff, and Shorty. Our plan was to start picketing at
1 p.m., and go until we had done enough damage.
I drove and drove and drove until the word no longer had any meaning.
That was about the same time I arrived at the Varsityin downtown
Atlanta, a humungus drive-thru joint similar to Sonic. I met Wynot
there, who was easy to spot in his dark suit and Xenu tie. Almost
immediately we were joined by Jeff and Laudunum. We grabbed a quick bite
there, then regrouped at a very secret parking lot not far from the
Dianetics Center. Everybody got their "entheta" out. Wynot had his Lisa
flyers and a sign that read "Dianetics/Scientology, Bait & Switch".
Laudunum showed up with four blank signs and a big, fat marker pen. She
proceeded to whip up some very good messages, two of which I can
remember: "$360,000 Bridge to Nowhere" and "Are You Full Of Dead Space
My flyers were straight from the internet, LRH In His Own Words..., and
the world famous Who Is Xenu? brochure.
Then I whipped out my Sekrit Weepun [tm]! I didn't have just one picket
sign, I had four double-sided signs! And they were all mounted on the
same stick so as to hang from pegs, which allowed me to display the
outer-most messages front and back, then easily switch messages. I
effectively had eight picket signs. They read as follows:
Scientology Cult of Greed! (Time Magazine May 6, 1991)
Scientology Wants Your MONEY!
Scientology HURTS People! (Ethicks, RPF, Introspection Rundown)
LRH Said.... "There Was NO Christ" (The Class VIII Auditors Course, Oct.
How Many Lawyers Does A "RELIGION" Need?
Don't Be Fooled! Dianetics IS Scientology!
ASK ME ABOUT XENU!
Hey Dianetics, WHERE'S THE BEEF?
That last message got quite a response from one motorist. As he drove by
he shouted "IN MY PANTS!". It took me several minutes to stop laughing.
Anyhoo, we struck out for the sidewalk on the other side of the street
from the Center. This gave us better visibility to passing traffic (our
real audience), and meant the Scienos ( or would it be Dianos?) couldn't
accuse us of blocking the sidewalk in front of their building.
So here we are, strolling up and down a one hundred-foot section of
sidewalk, laughing and making enturbulating remarks at each other. At
one point, Laudunum was just standing on the corner, so I hollered "Hey!
Bob Minton ain't paying you to just stand there! Walk, girl!" I could
have sworn she made a swipe at me with her sign as we crossed paths, but
I could be wrong.
During the entire picket, I'd say we got 5 honks from the passing
motorists. We got the finger from one guy walking down the other
sidewalk; I don't think he was a Scieno, just a jerk. I gave flyers to
one individual, who was still reading them as he disappeared up the
sidewalk. Another guy showed a lot of interest in Laudunum's signs and
flyers. I was told we gave flyers to around 5 people. Scientology can
check those people off of their "Potential Source of Income" list.
About 35 minutes into the picket, here comes the Handler's Brigade!
Three young women bent on dealing with us Suppressives. One of them only
took our pictures, hung around a bit, then went back inside the borg.
The other two stayed to try to ... what...drive us away? Their names
were Diane and Susan. I still haven't figured out why they were carrying
their purses with them. Didn't they trust their fellow Scienos?
Diane choose to handle me, Xenu knows why. She stands stock still on
the sidewalk as I pass by and asks will I talk with her. I say picketing
means walking, so if she wants to talk then she's gotta walk with me. So
she agrees. Her first interest was my name. I said she can call me
Mad_Cow. She tries to imply I've got something to hide and I agree with
her. I make her aware that I'm familiar with LRH's policy on handling
critics of her....ahem...."religion". I finally said my name is on a
need-to-know basis, and she didn't need to know.
Her attitiude is one of arrogance, condescension, self-righteous
superiority. You see, Diane was a Clear, a superior human being. I told
her it must be nice not having to worry about catching colds anymore or
getting into accidents. When she had no immediate response to something
I said, she would use this sarcastic laugh as if to say "my my, don't
you think you're cute". When I started telling her about Xenu, she
attempting to cut me off with "Yes yes, I know all about that stuff". I
didn't pursue it except to tell her that she was going to be pissed when
she reached OTIII. Another laugh. She did that alot. Weird non-confront,
Diane was interested in why I was picketing, then trying to tell me I
had no real personal reason to picket. Then she started to spew the same
old drivel we've all heard before about how beneficial Scientology is to
the world and all the wonderful things they are doing to help people
blah blah blah zzzzzzzz. At one point she claimed $cientology had helped
thousands of marriages from self-destructing, when from behind us I hear
someone say "What about Hubbard and his three wives?" We both turn
around and see Laudunum walking behind us, apparently unable to resist
handing Diane the most stinging of rebuttals. Diane's only response was
to say in her best tone 40, "I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU!" But indeed the
point had been made. Good work Laud :) Not long after that Diane left to
feed her daughter ( at 2 p.m. in the afternoon?). We did shake hands
before she left.
The other handler was Susan. Poor girl tried to handle us like Diane
did, but her heart was not into it. She tried the same ol' stuff Diane
did. Somehow she got on the discussion of copyrighted scripture with
Shorty, at which point I asked "Hey Shorty, I forget, is the Bible
copyrighted?" We all laughed, and Susan said "aw, come on!". She wasn't
ready for us. Eventually her handling technique deteriorated into just
standing by us, chatting pleasantly about stuff, making our picket look
even bigger. I shook her hand too before we left. Actually a nice girl.
Shortly before the end of our picket time (poor Wynot's feet were
killing him), I demonstrated my Sekrit Weepun. With Shorty in front of
me no one could see my sign. Since my sign handle was made from one of
those collapsable fishing poles, I just extended my sign up to its full
height of 9 feet! Try and block THIS sign, you Scienos! LOL. This design
seemed to stand up in the wind, which was a moderate problem for most of
the picket (poor Laudunum's signs got blown off the sticks).
After the picket we went to a local mexican food spot for a snack and to
discuss how the picket went. Everybody thought it was a really good
first picket. We discussed to some degree our next picket. Then we went
to the one-hour photo store to develop the pictures. After seeing myself
in the pics, I can only conclude that I need to lose a LOT of weight. I
have way too much belly on me. I'm beginning to resemble my nick :)
This was my first picket. It definitely ain't my last!